Totalselfhatred was found in 2005 by A. and C. in order to create truly melancholic and desperate soundscapes. Later during the same year N. joined in as a bass player and together the three of them released the 2006 promo CD that lead them to close a deal with the superb underground label Ordo Decimus Peccatum. After T. (drums) and J. (keys) joined in 2007 the recording line-up was completed, but due to frequent collisions with Murphy's Law and the high expectations placed towards this release by the band itself, things weren't finished until January 2008. Over 45 minutes of highly intense atmospheric, melancholic, depressive and desperate black metal ranging from calm acoustic parts to furious grindcorish blasts and from deep choirs to piercingly raw screeches accompanied by professional production and great sound made this one more than just another debut album. In lyrical aspects we go beyond the usual standards, narrating about the ability to find clarity in madness, positivity in the negativity and soulsearching in the various twists and tasks of life.